“It is always hard to reach out to new people! that is something I have also struggled with” said Hack wrapping a comforting arm around the Crone with gingerly tone too his voice.
“It was especially hard for me being a pampered child with sever nervous difficulties and mental break downs” he shuddered
“I gradually got to know the door man, Johnny who gradually became one of my best friends. I scared him at first because of my physical presence anyone can be scared of a 6ft tall slap head. When he started to talk to me he realised he was starting to crack Chestnut and that he ought not to have been weary of me” he gestured with arms aloft and softened eyes
“He realised that I was actually a gentle person, who had a burning passion for music, I n many ways I was more nervous of him then he was of me. I found his physical presence intimidating at first” he mesmerised
“But then I realised that behind his physical presence was someone that I felt I could look up to with a certain degree of respect. He often gave me advice on how I should conduct myself with respect to his experiences” he croaked as his hair rustled in the bitter breeze
“I can remember he would tell me quite a lot of stories of his playing and tour managing experiences and I would tell him at length about the great bands I had seen. He would often state to me that if a Nat farted then I would be the first person to know about it and that if they recorded it then I would be the first person to dance to it” he smirked with a twinkle in his eye
“He always looked out for me! He saw me grow from out of the shadows of the reclusive wall I had built around me. I mean I used to be so insular that I had to invite people into my world, a crazily fucked up world in my head that people bore no resemblance for connection. I was a complete emotional void empty of knowing how to deal with my emotions!”
The Hacks face looked drawn onto the fragile body of the Crone sprawled with the Iron girders surrounding him.
“He always said that I would be a star!” breathed the Crone
“I had all the potential to make something special happen but I ended up in this degenerate mess! Surround by rusting irons and collapsing roofs” he scowled hollowly
“He said he always knew if it was a good gig if the usual suspects turned up”
“The Usual Suspects?”
“Yeah there was this group of older guys who had to have the first tickets for pretty much every good gig in town, they would often line up with me down the front, creating a suspect line of heads”
“Who did the group consist of?”
“The group consisted of myself!”
“You considered yourself to be a usual suspect?”
“Well yes, there were the 2 Dave’s, Graham, and the 2 Lee’s, each had their gawky musical obsession, I mean literally they were the first people to know about any band”
“Well anyway, Johnny, the door man for the Louisiana was the first real person I could open up to and talk about the brazenness of my realities. He was the first person I openly talked to about my operation fuck up and how the horrific nightmares from the effects of the hospital drugs had left nerve shredding marks!, I still to this day remember some of the horrific vision that I had”
“Really? What sort of nightmares?”
“There is this 1 nightmare that constantly dogs me” he spoke with a stifled tone
“I had re-a curing nightmare which was similar to the torture scene from Clockwork Orange where the keep the guys eyes open force him to watch a variety films whilst injecting him” he said glaring with sparse eyes as the Hack gulped
“With my nightmare, I thought that the doctors who were treating me were evil scientists trying to sell evil killing masks to create an army of mass killing teenagers” he chuckled
“You see when I was in hospital I had to wear this giant facial mask to help me breathing because my lounges were a bit weak, and I thought they were projecting images through the mask”
“What images?” queried the Hack
“The images in question I can not really accurately describe, but they would start with gentle images that could be perceived as nice and relaxing but gradually they would speed up getting more morbid and disturbing the longer they went on!”
“That sounds horrific!”
“eye Hack it was a horrific re-a curing dream, they tell you all about the positive effects of the drugs like Morphine but not the negatives from the side effects and how they can have devastating mental attitudes!”.
“I mean literally the speeding up of the images caused me to have near fatal nightmares! But it did help calm down my breathing!” he said shakily, his eyes riming pale blue
The Crone took a deep meaningful sigh “I also at the time began to make friends with some of the Louisiana’s bar staff on the late night lock inns at the. I found it hard to talk to the female bar staff because I had this buzzer in my head telling me to shut up” he said tapping his scalp
“I developed a real soft spot for one of the bar maids called Sammy, she was a nice hippieish girl who had a really nice aura about her, I’m a sucker for nice hippy girls”
“I can remember being in the Old Duke Pub after a gig with her sat down at a table making wire statues out of wire with a local artist. She made me a bracelet by inter twining wires. I promised her that I would never take it off as it was symbol of our friendship and the way my soft heart pounded!” he said pounding his chest.
“Did you take it off?”
“No Hack, I stayed true to my words! Because I like it when people make stuff for me, it shows that they care and I will always remember or romanticise about silly little moments like that. It stayed on my wrist for a good year or so! Until it snapped off!” he grazed
“It was disappointing that it fell to pieces because it was like letting go of a memory that had a powerful grip over me, sometimes it is hard to let go of things especially if they have any sort of sentimental value” he said with saddened tones to his voice
“Emotions are always hard to let go of with a heavy heart, because you don’t always know the impact little things can have on each other”
“Little things you do can have lasting effects as to how you can relate to others” sadi hack with agreeing sounds
“Little touches make the world go round” he said with a dazed expression on his face.