Tuesday, 12 August 2008

“Yeah he certainly was interesting to say the least, it was like a if he just let things go hey wire pressing every mental button until he blitzed himself. He is the sort of person who would on and off from balcony’s at gigs, often hanging himself from perilously close to the edge”

“The venue did have a low ceiling and the singer from Les Savy Fav was able to just reach up to the light bulb with ease, the entirety of the crowd was swelling goading him on to do crazier things as the venue just erupted into 1 mass moshpit surging forward from the off”

The crone took in a deep hardy breath and sighed with blustering tones

"Fun times they were!" he reminisced “fun times they were!”

"That was back when people started to like me," exhausted the Crone.

"And just before people started sucking up to me like preposterous flies hiding sharks teeth," he said, his voice soaring.

"Sometimes I had to put on fake plastic smiles, which really hurt because there was no one that I really felt I could reach out to when I needed them. I just felt that I was being an inconvenience," he said, stifling sniffles. "You see I suffer with chronic sadness, like manic depression, often sparked off by severe nervous flashback of nastiness", he scorned.

"These could come across in a flash and have lasting effects, destroying any blocks of confidence with which I built. I had a lot of people claim to like me." He paused for a stiffening breath.

"Some of them were truthful and others had deceitful shark-like teeth." "Shark-like teeth?" posed the Hack.

"Yeah, you know, evil little voices that spread falsified rumors, printing them out like facts. Even though they are prickly lies." Crone's voice grew with brightening allegations.

"What allegations did you have thrown in your direction?" Hack spoke with a broken sense of edginess.

"Well, I had someone claim that I was a sexual deviant who molested girls who were intoxicated. I mean, do I look like a molester?" He scrawled with his eyes bulging red with rage.

The Hack mawkishly stated "I don't know what a molester looks like." "Exactly", he fumed.

"I have never molested anyone and I would never dream of doing so." He breathed heavily.

"I mean answer me this Hack, how sexually deviant is a fucking virgin?" His voice risen pure rage burning frustration as the Hack pondered with the awe of shock.

"At this point, I decided to hunt down those sharks who hid behind plastic facades that swarm around in the pool of humanity! Giving an unerring sense of shame upon that castigated cutting wires, which he soldered on my name!" He scowled with darkening scars in his voice.

"I mean if you are going to make up a lie about me then at least make it entertaining. Like when one guy who tried to claim to all my friends that I was homeless," he said. "Now that was a good lie", he started.

"At least make the lies unbelievable and not attacking some parts of my private life!" He screwed his voice tightly

“You know the term sticks and stones will brake my bones but words will never hurt me! Well sometimes those words can be like sharp blades cutting against my skin!”

“You see Hack sometimes people paint you on a peddle stall just to poke at you because you are seen to be in the public eye!”

“Sometimes people can say very insensitive things” said the Hack sensitively

The Crone Shrugged “I just wished that people would think before the commit to print because firing off like stray dogs I would quite happily put them to the sword” his voice became untangled with frustration

“You see I never had much luck when it came to love, I developed crushes on people, you know like you always do”.

“I have only been kissed a number of times, it is only recently that I have had any sort of confidence when it comes to girl’s, I have only slept in the same bed as one girl”.


“Yes Hack, the girl in question was called Carly, I had a crush on her for quite a while and she is still someone that I have a big gewy like soft spot for, because she was the first person to call me beautiful and actually mean it!, usually when people called me beautiful then I thought they were joking, where as I could kind of being honest with me. Is it sad for me to still be reminiscing about someone that I had or still have a tenderness for?”

“No old man, it is no sad thing because it shows that you cared enough, many people I know reminisce about love”.

“Of course nothing really came of it because I had the voices in my head telling me off and I had this mental fear that somehow I would contrive to fuck things up. So love never really happened for me!”

“Sometimes you have to trust yourself, and know how to go with your feelings”

“That is something I have never had any confidence in because I was afraid that I might scare people off with my voice, sometimes I could not stomach words because of nerves that were triggered off in my head” he sighed

“It is almost like as if I have a skitzophrenic condition, this has labored me with many things like an internal anxiety, sometimes being affecting my moods with at times wild swings”

“Its hard because I cared or tried to care for so many people, its like I over exposed myself because I wanted to be loved and at times I needed the mental security even just someone to hug for a bit warmth for my soft hearted soul” he muttered

“I mean I can even remember my first kiss, it is a moment that that forever changed my views on life. I was at my friends ep launch down in London” he paused

“They were a band called We Yes You No, who did tripped out lofi indie pop in the vein of Granddaddy and Pavement. They were the ultimate European immigration band, their singer was a raving mad hippieised Swedish vegan who had to complain about why the world is not vegan! The guitarist was Israeli and forever getting into debates about the state of world politics, the bass player was a boll shy Italian and the drummer was the only vaguely English and I say he was vaguely English because he hailed from the Isle of Wight, which is not technically England!”

“That sounds like quite an eclectic mix of personalities”

“yeah they were an eclectic bunch of nut jobs, which I had quite a few experiences of the drummers random moods, the guitarists rat arsed views on politics and the bass players pornched out humor add too that the singers amateur dramatics and Operatic whining for near constant want of perfection, you had quite an eclectic group hotch potched Europeans”

“Well anyway I was at their ep launch, the band asked me to join them onstage for the last song, too which I jumped at the opportunity! Whilst onstage I had noticed a gaggle of very attractive young girls. I had noticed that one very cute blonde girl was staring right at me and so I decided to mime the chorus of the song whilst staring right into her eyes. The chorus had the line I am Superman, so I decided to lean off the stage and point at her getting eye to eye contact”

“God, that sounds well romantic”

“Well that’s the sort of person I am, I crave romance! I was brought up in a very loving environment and was taught to respect others unlike some of the youth of today” the Crone shuddered

“But yeah my first sexual experience happened after the band had played and the dj hit the decks, I hit the dance floor. Said blonde girl and friends joined me soon after to dance the night away. I allowed said blonde and her friends to share in the wearing of my plush trilby hat that I had with me and pretend to be cowgirls and cowboys. Right at the end of the night one of the girl’s friends returned my hat and the next thing I knew I was spun and the blonde girl I had been dancing with jumped onto me pining me to the bar where I was standing”

“How did you feel at the time?”

“I was shocked, I mean, I did not know what she saw in a n ugly git like me! So, yeah I was completely taken back by that beauty”
“Did you get her name?”

“My nerves kept on playing up on me so I was too shy, I was scared that my voice would frighten her and the music was so loud that spittle would fly out because of my lisp. So yeah, that was a major moment for me, because it took something like that to realize that people liked me for being me and that girls might find me attractive because I stood out from the crowd. Yet I think I was pretty ugly, but it just goes to show some people look beyond image and into the personality that lies behind them”.

“That is true!”

“That was not the last of my escapade’s with We Yes You No, I went on a 2 week tour with the band”

“How was that?”

“Well it was like a mega crash course to a dodgy EU convention, full of dodgy driving, the bass players dodgy one liners winding up the singer”

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